I can't do this!

End of week 3

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I had one of those moments of total brain ache yesterday. The van conversion is progressing slowly. Having got the insulation and lining done, put in a lot of the 12v wiring, built a curved raised section for the seating, made endless templates to fit big chunks of plywood against the horribly complicated shape of the side walls, built the fixed double bed area, cut holes and fitted the roof light and the back door window , fitted a swivel to the drivers seat . . .  having done all that, I then unpacked the water heater, the space heater and the 240 volt hook-up kit, and stood there scratching my head. Bits of wire were threaded through the hollow metal structural ribs of the van and trailing across the floor. Nothing seemed to be in the right place, and a horrible depressing fog overcame me.

“I can’t do this!” Well, there’s only one answer to that:

“Oh Yes you can . . . but not now.”

How to overcome that “I can’t go on” moment?  Tidy up! Just say to yourself:

“I’m not doing any more until I get some space and order around me.”

So that’s what I did this morning. I spent an hour sorting things out, sweeping up dust and shavings, dismantling cardboard boxes, collecting plastic packing into re-cycling bags, hanging up my tools, and generally persuading myself that I am a skilled and tidy worker, perfectly capable of mastering a complicated wiring diagram. The tidy bit took a lot of self-deception, but I managed to half believe it.

And it worked. With only one or two glitches I managed to get the wiring for the lights in place and most important of all, see a way through the maze.

In the afternoon I spent some “quality time” on my much neglected garden. Tomorrow will be fine so I plan to go walking and checking out bird sites at a nearby farm and up on the mountain. That’s what all this is for in the long run, and the busiest time of the year for birds and those of us who follow them is Spring, and it’s happening now, all around us.